a direct transcription

of Comedy Central on 4 December 2008 (at least all that i could catch, there may be some holes) - 10:10pm CST-10:12pm CST

"the remarkable clean coal technology changes everything, take a look, this is america's clean coal technology.
I am green today, i chirp today, get verizon wireless america's most reliable 3G network. Yours is here.
Agent... hey... Got it. The ridiculously long lasting gum, stride sweet barry.
Douggy... Dougy i just bought you for a buck 99. Now i'm gonna do your wife, now i'm gonna do your mother now.
Why have you come to our planet...from us, it has begun, he is the only one who can save us. you can stop this. the day the earth stood still, rated PG-13. We live in troubling times, not just on the financial"

So, that's what going on these days... Does anyone else think we've had quite enough Punisher movies?