17 November 2006

Fix and Foxy

Yesterday, as i was working for the great green god i spied an old guy. He was walking out of the store with his wife (old lady) and he made me pause (what does it mean to give me pause? he may have done that as well). He was wearing a sweet sky blue jacket, with a brown fur collar and a large ABCthis...is abc television logo on the left breast. It was possibly the coolest piece of retro clothing i've ever seen.

When i saw it, it occurred to me that i have, singlehandedly, solved the social security problem that we aren't facing. Any young hipster out there, who is walking around in the world, if you see an old guy (or lady) wearing an article of clothing that is really cool, you offer to buy it for some exorbitant sum of money, say $100, something it's absolutely not worth. Soon, old folks will have all the money they need for food and medications and such. Of course, it won't work for you all to continue to buy these things at the Salvation Army or garage sales, as you won't be handing out enough money.

Of course, because we're doing all this for the betterment of society, we will be able to deduct whatever amount you pay out for these awesome items from your tax income. But, you'll need proof of the purchase... if the old-time doesn't give you a receipt (note: you must pay in cash)... snap a photo. Send this photo in with your next tax return. I love the idea of thousands of photos showing up at the IRS next April. It's gonna be great. So get out there. Buy that fantastic fur hat you've had your eye on. Go for the piebald pants you see scooting by every Taco Tuesday. Just Buy It.

No comments: