Looming

Do you ever have the sensation that you may not be prepared for a thing, even if you know what it is & where it is & how to deal with it? My thing is zombies, specifically, or work, generally... The thing is, many days, i do a lot of work in the direction of my thesis, but much of that work is work around my thesis, not at it. This is not a good thing, because i calmly convince myself that i am working, & working hard & working long, but perhaps nothing is really actually getting done. I read some book, or make some notes on a film or even write a few pages, but perhaps nothing of what i've done today (and i put almost all day into zombies today {all apologies to Thomas Carlyle}) will actually get into my thesis... And i tell myself that this is ok, because i store these thoughts away for the future zombie work, which once again leads me to the question of "Zombies? Seriously?" & i say, "...emmm... zombies are good to think with?" (Note: Joel or Aimee or Brooke, i know the question of 'why do you study zombies?' came up on Sunday, but i can't seem to recreate the answer, so if you remember it... do drop me a line, please {without using the word 'zizek'}). So, yeah. I guess, while i say to everyone "i feel ok about where i am with my thesis," i simultaneously mean it & do not mean it. I'm sure it'll all come out ok. Because it always has, but i dunno, i have this sneaking suscpicion that perhaps this is the time, the first time, that it won't. And what then.

Then we'll all be eaten by zombies, that's what. Don't say i didn't warn you.