20 May 2008

how d'you like them apples...

It occurred to me today as i was leaving work and polishing an apple on my shoulder that i look pretty damn good eating an apple. I came up with a theory when i was living in Münster that if nothing else, i look good eating apples, so i ate apples all the time. There's something to the way i bite with a bit of reckless abandon, but without the Roman-esque excesses of juices dripping down my chin...

When i'm not biting, i hold the apple well, slightly daintily at the ends of the core, but without seeming overly concerned with getting my hands a bit sticky... My arms swing freely, if a bit away from my body (think Brody Peed walking down the halls of Clinton High School, but without the muscles). I've gotten pretty good at walking while eating an apple, i can usually time finishing the apple pretty well with my arrival at a garbage can...

I can even, truly, finish an apple... not in the Teutonic sense, perhaps, where you eat ALL of the apple, stem, core & seeds, but all the way around, then to the top & bottom, getting almost of meat off of it...

So what i really want to know is, what is it that you look really good doing? Dancing in the club ( deine Bewegungen gefählen mir), doing shots, or smoking (i look a lot like John McClane when i smoke, taking entire cigarettes in in just a couple inhalations)... So tell me, in an effort of supporting and promoting self-confidence & positive self image (not in the blow smoke up their ass sense, but for real, quality things that don't generally get noticed).

4 comments:

jacks said...

i'm going to take that link to mean that i look good doing shots, so to that i say, thank you. you're right. i also look good swinging a golf club.

joel said...

indeed you do... indeed you do.

Joel said...

There's an excellent picture of me holding a chicken in either hand. So... I suppose I'm underappreciated for how good I look handling fowl.

Also, I'm going to suggest that I look good when I dig holes or ditches. Some combination of lanky frame, heavy brow, and determined set to the jaw is working for me there.

seeger said...

yeah... i've got a friend in the program, ron, who's been working on a way to graph 'man-li-ness' which includes manual labor as a major force in determining a subject's manliness...